Wife: What do you like most about me, my Beauty or my Intelligence?
Husband: I love it more when you joke like this!!
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When a man holds a woman’s hand before marriage, It is love;
After marriage: It is self-defense
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Compromising does not mean you are wrong and your wife is right.
It only means that the safety of your head is much more important than your ego!
Husband: Aaj bahar khana khayenge.
Wife: Kyun meray khanay se bore ho gaye?
Husband: Naheen, Aaj bartan dhonay ka mood naheen hai.
Wife ne Husband ke gaal Pe thaparr maar k machhar maar dya.
Husband: Gussey Se Kion Maraa?
Wife: Mere hoty huy koi doosra tumhara khoon choose, ye mujhy pasand nahi!
Sonu:
Tujhe Sharam Nai Aati Tu Apni Biwi K sath Kapde Dho Raha Tha
Monu:
Is Me Sharam Ki Kya Baat Hai.. Wo B To Roti Pakane Me Meri Help Krti Hai
Wife: ”Maine to bina dekhe hi tumse shaadi kar lee.”
Husband: ”Aur meri himmat toh dekho, Maine to dekhne ke baad bhi tumse shaadi kar li.”
There was a man, who had worked all his life, had saved all of his money, And was a real miser when it came to his money.
Just before he died, he said to his wife…’When I die, I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket with me.
I want to take my money to the afterlife with me.’
And so he got his wife to promise him, with all of her heart, that when he died, she would put all of the money into the casket with him.
Well, he died.
He was stretched out in the casket, his wife was sitting there – dressed in black, and her friend was sitting next to her. When they finished the ceremony, and just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said,
‘Wait just a moment!’
She had a small metal box with her; she came over with the box and put it in the casket. Then the undertakers locked the casket down and they rolled it away.
So her friend said, ‘Girl, I know you were not foolish enough to put all that money in there with your husband.’
The loyal wife replied, ‘Listen, I’m a Women;
I cannot go back on my word. I promised him that I was going to put that money into the casket with him.’
You mean to tell me you put that money in the casket with him!?!?!?’
‘I sure did,’ said the wife.
‘I got it all together, put it into my account, and wrote him a cheque….
If he can cash it, then he can spend it.’
Husband: Do you know the meaning of WIFE?
It means, Without Information, Fighting Every time!
Wife: No darling, it means, With Idiot For Ever
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Doctor: Your husband needs rest and peace. Here are some sleeping pills.
Wife: When must I give them to him?
Doctor: They are for you
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Wife: I had to marry you to find out how stupid you are.
Husband: You should have known it the minute, I asked you to marry me.
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Husband: Today is Sunday & I have to enjoy it. So, I bought 3 movie tickets.
Wife: Why Three?
Husband: For you and your parents
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Husband: Hypnotise karna kya hota hy?
Wife: Kisi ko apnay control me kar k apni marzi k kaam karwaana
Husband: Chal jhoTi,usay to Shadi kehte haiN.
Wife: If I die what will u do?
Husband: Main paagal ho jaun ga!
Wife: Will u marry again after I die?
Husband: Pagal kuch bhi kar sakta hai
The angry wife met her husband at the door. There was alcohol on his breath and lipstick on his collar.
“I assume,” she snarled, “that there is a very good reason for you to come waltzing in here at six o’clock in the morning?!”
“There is,” he replied. “Breakfast!”